help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
