Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
