i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
