2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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