Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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