also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
