Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I will die if light touches me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
3pm strippers are depressing
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
