so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
