the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
