Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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