Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
