what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it because I queefed?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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