Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
