She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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