He is such a slut. More and more my type.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize