So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
