yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
