but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
