I got chris browned last night
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
