perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize