He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
