how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
