Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
