So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
