Already got asked if we're dating
wat bout pragnant strippers??
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
