i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
