your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
