operation harelip BJ is a go
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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