I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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