he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
