did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I am available for nakedness
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
