never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
