You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
