Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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