I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
