yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
