ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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