This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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