is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
