It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize