Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize