let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I AM VODKA MAN
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
