no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
