i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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