I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
