I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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