oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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