So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
