Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
