Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
