I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
