There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize