I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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