Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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