I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
