oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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