he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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