this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize