i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
