some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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