I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize