AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
