I hate all girls vehemently.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
